TOP TEN SOMALI PIRATE EXCUSES

Top Ten Somali Pirate Excuses

10. Thought they were holding the Captain & Tennille

9. Needed 100 metric tons of plastic souvenirs and Chinese knockoff watches

8. Really like boats

7. Wanted to meet Johnny Depp

6. Heard they could club the Navy SEALs and take their fur

5. Was told there would be rum

4. Celebrating Angelina Jolie's latest pregnancy

3. Going to Surf City just to have some fun

2. Merely replacing the fine shipping normally served with Folger's Crystals to see if anyone notices

And the number one Somali pirate excuse...

1. Was hoping to inspire the sequel "Black Hawk Downer"

-Jason Rohrblogger
(4/20/09)