Sunday, September 06, 2009

TOP TEN CHANGES NOW THAT DISNEY HAS PURCHASED MARVEL COMICS

Top Ten Changes now that Disney has Purchased Marvel Comics

10. Peter Pan and Captain Hook join Batman and Robin for NAMBLA's "movie of the year"

9. The Evil Queen poisons Snow White with a radioactive spider

8. Punisher awakens Sleeping Beauty with a thousand-rounds-per-minute of percussion cap awesomeness

7. The Muppets take Dr. Manhattan

6. Captain Jack Sparrow and Captain America team up to rid the Caribbean of its dangerous surplus of rum

5. Don't get Cinderella angry. You wouldn't like her when she's angry...

4. X-Men vs Aristocats to the death

3. Marry Poppins gives Human Torch a good cleaning

2. Alice in Wolverine

And the number one change now that Disney has purchased Marvel Comics...

1. With great power comes great responsibility...to co-opt every last franchise of America's emotional youth and bundle it into one revenue stream for the shareholders

-Jason Rohrblogger
(9/5/09)

And the alternates...

Princess Python meets Thumper
Storm McDuck
Pocahontgoblin
Cruella De Vulture
Roger Invisible Rabbit
Silver Simba
Captain Wall-EO
Ariel douses Pyro
Zorro can no longer sue Batman for infringement

1 comment:

The Bombshell said...

I can see you're as disgusted by this merger as I am.