TOP TEN ITEMS IN JASON'S SURVIVAL KIT

Top Ten Items in Jason's Survival Kit

10. A bible

9. A gun

8. A hollowed-out bible with a gun in it

7. Emergency banana

6. Three-days supply of water

5. Year's supply of Viagra

4. Extra SPAM, backup can of Vienna sausages

3. DVD of "The Negotiator"

2. Belgian-to-English dictionary

And the number one item in Jason's survival kit...

1. Midol

-Jason Rohrblogger
(10/20/07)

And the alternates...

Phonetic alphabet
Extra lottery tickets
L.L. Bean catalog
List of nearest relatives not living with him
Hidden cache of 80's porn
Prescription for Proactiv
Surplus semaphore flags
Military-grade tuxedo, corsage, and Camaro
Norse code
Mother's recipe for kicking ass and taking names
Cyanide capsule and bottle of '53 Dom Pérignon