Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Top Ten Tasteless Tiger Woods Jokes

10. Q: What is Tiger's favorite Christmas Carol?
A: I'm Dreaming of a White Mistress

9. Tiger may be a playboy, but his wife was out clubbing on Thanksgiving

8. Why did Tiger decide to redo Elin's prenuptial agreement? She told him about her new recipe for Swedish meatballs.

8. Did you hear Tiger changed his name to Lion Cheetah?

7. The police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. "I can't remember," Elin said, "just put me down for a five."

6. What's the difference between a Cadillac and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball four-hundred yards.

5. What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They've both been clubbed by a Swede.

4. Tiger has a new movie coming out. It's called "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant."

3. Did you hear Nike's new motto? Just do me.

2. Tiger's other women aren't mistresses. They're provisionals.

And the number one tasteless Tiger Woods joke...

1. Tiger Woods won't be playing any more tournaments this year. However, I'm sure he will get in some holes here and there.

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa always stops after three hos

Tiger drives an Escalade, so couldn't he blame the accident on his Caddy?

Elin asked her marriage counselor why, next time, she should go after Tiger with a nine-iron instead of the three-iron she used the morning after Thanksgiving?
The counselor advised, "Because, now you're closer to the green.

Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron. Should have used a driver, though.

Gatorade dropped their Tiger Woods sports drink. Because it would be rude to ask, "Is it in you?"

What's the difference between Tiger's pal Rachel Uchitel and Mr. Ed?
Mr. Ed's hair was naturally blond, and he could talk.

Tiger woods drives very well on the fairway but doesn't fare very well on the driveway.

Q: What course gives Tiger the most trouble?
A: Intercourse.

Q. What kind of club did Elin swing at Tiger?
A. Looks like it was a bitching wedge.

Someone should explain to Tiger's wife that hitting a driver meant the club, not the guy in the front seat. Imagine what will happen the next time he asks his wife to do some ironing.

When asked when he would be doing Oprah, Tiger stated, "She's not my type."

Tiger can't seem to control his wood.

Tiger Woods has decided to take a break from golf, to concentrate on his first love: adultery.

1 comment:

Jenn said...

Hahahaha! I mean, domestic violence is never funny.