JASON'S TOP TEN FAVE LINES FROM "FAT JACK'S ERRATIC RANTS"

Jack over at Fat Jack's Erratic Rants writes, "Jason. When are you going to feature your number one Internet fan and promoter in one of those handy-dandy top ten lists?"

Uh, be careful what you wish for, Jack.

Jason's Top Ten Fave Lines from Fat Jack's Erratic Rants

10. "THE HANGOVER, in my opinion, is a true date movie, but then again I am a bit strange."

9. "Not to neglect our artsy fartsy side, we also watched INSIDE DEEP THROAT...."

8. "I'd rather not see cuts to my salary at all."

7. "What pedagogy are the teachers using to educate the students?"

6. "[I]t's like sitting through a romantic comedy where everyone is dressed in Mardi Gras costumes. The enjoyment of which just proves that people don't have very good taste."

5. "Is it wrong to find that most of the events I enjoy involve the possibility of bodily harm?"

4. "It was juicy with gore-a-plenty...."

3. "We need more death in the TV show, Heroes."

2. "In order to properly govern ourselves, we need deep questions and further exploration."

And Jason's number one fave line from Fat Jack's Erratic Rants...

1. "How cool would that be to run around in the dead of night blowing poisoned darts in the necks of the nefarious, lodging ninjas stars in their craniums, cutting enemies in half, and scaling walls with climbing spikes? And the disappearing smoke bombs. Sweet Judas Iscariot those puffs of smoke are some kind of bad ass."

-Jason Rohrblogger
(3/9/10)

And the alternates...

"What is the deal with those little brooms?"

"I thought about Imo's all meat pizza all the way home and even tried to convince the wife that it would make life better."

"I do have to admit that if the pizza were in the house I would tear into it like a down-low Baptist minister on a cracked-out gay hooker."

"I'd ask you to guess how far away my chest of drawers is, but it wouldn't make me look good."

"I have nothing pithy, clever or even offensive to say. I'm just blathering on for no good reason. Are you still reading?"

"[D]on't be expecting any romantic love songs from this writer."

"[T]hey have lost their ever-loving mind if they expect this fat feller to burn 400-500 calories a day."

"I'll meet the sweet baby Jesus sooner rather than later if I try to meet that goal."

"I'm sure the fat doctor would be pleased."

"Don't get me started on the fact that a romantic comedy won best screen play."