TOP TEN POPE BENEDICT EXCUSES

Top Ten Pope Benedict Excuses

10. Those altar boys were asking for it the way they were wearing those vestments

9. A few bad apostles are spoiling the whole church

8. Clerical error

7. All these issues happened in the past and there is no more abuse going on today

6. Should have never canonized St. Peter Asty

5. Per papal doctrine, abused children were never forced to get abortions

4. For easier identification, priests now required to carry candy and drive windowless vans

3. Just trying to keep up with the Mormons

2. What's a little sacrament in the vestibule among friends? Wink-wink

And the number one Pope Benedict excuse...

1. So confident that the problems are fixed, Pope Benedict is sending his own son off to the seminary

-Jason Rohrblogger
(4/27/10)

And the alternate...

Would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!