TOP TEN REJECTED TALIBAN DOOMSDAY DEVICES

Top Ten Rejected Taliban Doomsday Devices

10. Whimsical Mohammed-shaped Jell-O mold full 'o plague

9. Goat with bad gas and a match

8. Crop duster filled with Mariah Carey CD's

7. Sneak up behind NFL Coach Bill Belichick. Dump cold bucket of anthrax on his head at end of fourth quarter.

6. Field Islamic fundamentalist boy band, *N Laden

5. Replace president of the United States with Folger's Crystals. See if anyone notices

4. Bomb a Kathy Lee Gifford concert

3. Hijack Oprah Winfrey. Force book club to read Koran.

2. Character-assassinate beloved American sports hero O.J. Simpson

And the number one rejected Taliban doomsday device...

1. Give Taliban spokesman Mohammed Mujahara own late night talk show on Al Jazeera network. Watch with glee as Conan O'Brien ratings plummet.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(09/25/01)

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