TOP TEN REJECTED BUMPER STICKERS

Top Ten Rejected Bumper Stickers

10. Only you can prevent sobriety

9. I don't do portion control

8. Sweaty & Ready

7. How did I get genital Slurpees?

6. What happens in Pompeii stays in Pompeii

5. Who put the extra fiber in your crack this morning?

4. Help stamp out jive ass turkeys

3. What would Scooby Do?

2. Paddle faster, I hear banjos

And the number one rejected bumper sticker...

1. I'll have a venti cafe mocha whiskey heroin latte to go

-Jason Rohrblogger
(7/21/09)

And the alternates...

Hi, I'm going door to door educating people about evolution. Have you heard the good news?

You people are just lucky I'm so terrified of prison

Abstinence makes the church grow fondlers

My kid is student of the month at Leavenworth Federal Penitentiary

Who would Jesus waterboard?

Friends don't let friends decapitate infidels