Thursday, February 25, 2010


Today's list was stolen wholesale from Lemon Drop.

Top Ten Annoying Couple Types

10. The Newly Engaged - No one has ever been as happy as they are! And don't worry, their wedding is SO not going to be like all those other weddings. It's going to be special...and the only one that either of them will ever have, for sure

9. The Karaoke Couple - Same bar, same songs, same night, every week. These two should take their act on the hell

8. The Fight Club - There is nothing that won't start an argument between them. They would break up or get divorced if only they knew how to live without the pleasure of hating each other every day

7. The Love Birds - They think they invented love and they want to share it with anyone within eye-shot. Gross. Get a room. No one needs to see that. They become number ten

6. The Newly Married Who Think They've Really Got Marriage Figured Out; and oh boy, have they got relationship advice for you - thoughtful, charming, deeply self-satisfied advice that absolutely will not make you want to projectile vomit into their sincere faces

5. The Tourist Couple - Do not lock eyes with them. They will ask you where they are, where they're going, how to get there and why it has to be so complicated. Then they will ask you to take their picture

4. The Couple Making Out at the Bar - You could tell them to get a room but it would not do you any good. Whatever room they are currently in is the room

3. The Parents of Each Other - She calls him "Daddy" and he calls her "Momma" and nobody wants to be caught in that parent trap

2. The Twins - Studies suggest that the longer couples are together, the more they begin to look alike. But when you start to look less like a woman and more like your husband's teenage son, it's time for an affair

And the number one annoying couple type...

1. The Strobe Lights - They love each other, they love each other not. They love each other, they love each other not. This relationship does not need counseling, it needs a clapper

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

The Power Couple - Power jobs, power looks, power money. These couples would be more annoying were it not for the spectacularly humiliating power break-ups that inevitably follow

The Bar Flys Who Like to Think They Are a Power Couple - Is that a successful relationship you smell? No, it's Axe Body Spray and Newports

The Couple Who Does Not Know They Are About to Get Divorced Because He's Gay and She's Addicted to Painkillers - They will find out soon enough, but until then the tension between them will strip the paint off the walls wherever they go. Best to put on a gas mask if you see them coming


Jenn said...

This is so awesome! I adore this list. It reminds me of the "smug marrieds" from the Bridget Jones movies. Good taste adding this one to your site!

Darby Clark said...

L'ingMOA - again...