TOP TEN THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR JASON SAY

Top Ten Things You Will Never Hear Jason Say

10. This shirt is sooo last season. I think I'll go out on my own and buy something more up to date.

9. Sorry I'm late, I was traveling at a safe rate of speed for the conditions.

8. ...that's when I realized I had scheduled TWO dates last Saturday...

7. I'll just leave this extra tequila for the host of the party.

6. I reassured her that small breasts and no ass were really attractive.

5. I'd like a veggie burger...soy milk...and carrot sticks...to go...

4. Just got off the phone with my father and...

3. I find Kubrick's violence towards women as distasteful as the graphic male-oriented lesbian pornography that undermines our Christian nation.

2. Once I get the doublewide set up in Marana, Grandma can just move in with me.

And the number one thing you will never hear Jason say...

1. My level headedness is only matched by my dedication to this job, sir.

-Jason Rohrblogger
(04/14/99)