TOP TEN ISRAELI CONCESSIONS TO THE PALESTINIANS

Top Ten Israeli Concessions to the Palestinians

10. Reclaim two holy sites, get one free.

9. On joint Israeli/Palestinian bowling teams, the Israelis will provide the beer and the Palestinians will provide the pretzels.

8. Israeli forces will stop shooting terrorists if they say the "phrase that pays."

7. If an Israeli suicide bomber and a Palestinian suicide bomber come to a four way stop simultaneously, the one to the right will go first.

6. Israelis will remove "Allah sucks" bumperstickers from all tanks BEFORE they flatten Palestinian homes and schools.

5. Secret Police torture sessions will no longer include the Macarena.

4. Gideons will be allowed to place the Koran in 30% of Tel-Aviv hotel rooms.

3. By 2006 all Israeli Coke machines must accept sheckels AND dinari.

2. Ramadan and Hannukkah combined into one holiday: Ramiken, the festival of containment.

And the number one Israeli concession to the Palestinians...

1. Israelis will close tacky topless bar in disputed territory, "the Gaza Strip."

-Jason Rohrblogger
(10/28/98)