Friday, April 04, 2008

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR COMPANY IS CUTTING HEALTHCARE BENEFITS

Top Ten Signs Your Company Is Cutting Healthcare Benefits

10. Coffee machine also used for dialysis

9. Rehab is a "Just Say No" bumpersticker

8. All second opinions rendered by Dr. Pepper

7. After vasectomy, anesthesiologist orders you to "walk it off"

6. Door to first-aid cabinet requires a quarter to open it

5. Network physician states you've already got lung cancer, so you might as well smoke all you want, drink-up, and engage in unprotected sex as well

4. If you can swallow fifty eggs, the cholesterol screening is free

3. "Flu shots" taste suspiciously like lime Jell-O, and are two-for-one on Thursdays with wine, well, and drafts

2. Fine Prozac normally served secretly replaced with Folger's Crystals

And the number one sign your company is cutting healthcare benefits...

1. Your choice of any doctor named Kevorkian

-Jason Rohrblogger
(02/24/06)

And the alternates...

For $1.99 a minute your RN will also be a "naughty nurse"
Ultrasound shows fetus pimping Nikes, sucking Pepsi, and blasting an i-Pod
Dentist uses Magic 8-Ball to decide where to drill
Mammogram just five minutes of groping from the horny guys in shipping

2 comments:

Larry Litle said...

Jason,
to quote the Guinness "Brilliant"

Rose said...

Jason, Funny!