TOP TEN SIGNS IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY IN LOS ANGELES

Top Ten Signs it's St. Patrick's Day in Los Angeles

10. It's cheaper to fuel your H2 Hummer with Jameson Irish Whiskey than gasoline

9. Jennifer Aniston cast to star in "Leprechaun VI: The Search for Schlock"

8. Transvestites insist on celebrating "It's Pat" Day

7. Gary Busey caught drunk and talking nonsense

6. Crips & Bloods wear green bandanas for the day

5. Pot found at the end of Snoop Dogg's rainbow

4. Sit n' Sleep is REALLY having a blowout mattress sale this time, not like those other holidays

3. St. Patrick drives all of the snakes out of Hollywood

2. Variety refers to Colin Farrell's upcoming "Fast and Furious" sequel as an "Irish Car Bomb"

And the number one sign it's St. Patrick's Day in Los Angeles...

1. Happy Hour at Jason Rohrblogger's fave bar becomes amateur night

-Jason Rohrblogger
(03/17/08)

And the alternate...

Democrats manage to go one day without a scandal involving gay underage senate page prostitutes laundering money in an arms-for-hostages scheme to have Halliburton supply tainted FEMA trailers to Abu Ghraib prisoners for room and waterboard