Sunday, June 01, 2008


Top Ten Rejected Mars Lander Experiments

10. Go out at night, eatin' cars. Eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too, Mercurys and Subarus

9. Test the effects of reduced atmosphere on a microwave burrito from 7-11

8. Come back to Disneyland and put Wall-E in a submission hold

7. Blow bong hits in Martian's faces

6. Destroy any native species encountered and replace their culture with MTV and Starbucks

5. Call Dominoes. Try to get a pizza in 30-minutes or less

4. Eat a bag of Pop Rocks and drink a Coke at the same time

3. Claim the entire planet for Queen Isabella of Spain

2. Mine the substrate for any Mars bars

And the number one rejected Mars lander experiment...

1. c0d3 411 +r4N5M15510n5 b4Ck 2 34r+h n 1337 5P34k

-Jason Rohrblogger

And the alternates...

Head to Martian Jiffy Lube for three-million mile oil change
Finally make it into R2-D2's top eight on MySpace
Calculate the odds of getting off that godforsaken rock
Unpack the boxes, forward the mail, find nearest Synagogue
Sit back, pop a can of WD-40, and relax
Try to find underground three-chested babes depicted in Total Recall
Switch to metric system
Start speaking in a stilted Martian accent, adopt a child from Malawi
Drive around taking random pictures of rocks
Write hilarious Top Ten List blog


Adrian said...


Atomic Bombshell said...

I'm sure my buddies at JPL and Caltech will get a kick out of these.rzbo