Saturday, January 10, 2009

TOP TEN NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

In 2009 I resolve to...

10. Quit selling used dental floss on Ebay as new

9. Unload three of my personal firearms

8. Stop making my sushi talk in a tiny shrimp voice before eating it

7. Yodel less

6. Spit more

5. Lose ten, no wait, five. Okay three pounds. Lose two pounds and spit a lot to make up for it

4. Learn computers

3. Buy a toothbrush, hairbrush, and paintbrush

2. Leave less DNA evidence lying around

And the number one new year's resolution...

1. Bring sexy back

-Jason Rohrblogger
(1/10/09)

And the alternates...

Finish freebasing M&Ms
Buy less apology jewelry
Go to my special place
Remember the children

2 comments:

Tisha said...

You forgot to:
donate all nose/back/facial hair to the homeless
never underestimate the IQ of a blonde cheerleader
ask directions from everyone behind the counter at the local gas station
and learn to burp the National Anthem.

HOW ARE YA BUDDY???
I am facebooking and blogging again. Didn't mean to ignore you but I have been battling the Hormonal Hell Devils. Think I am winning now.

nice4naughtiness said...

My resolution:

Answer my phone more. LMAO