Friday, July 25, 2008


Top Ten Surprises in the Mr. Peanut Autobiography

10. Jimmy Carter grew more than nuts

9. California Raisins? Gay as a rainbow dolphin.

8. Peanut butter contains absolutely no dairy

7. Despises jelly

6. Likes his women chunky-style

5. Voted for Nixon for a third term

4. Once drilled Mrs. Peanut for oil

3. Monocle is bifocal. It's a monobifocal.

2. Contract rider provides fluffer for his nutter

And the number one surprise in the Mr. Peanut autobiography...

1. Those aren't peanuts

-Jason Rohrblogger


Cowboy Dave Dickerson said...

I don't know if this was intentional, but I'm almost certain the same title is used for a list in one of the Letterman Top Ten books. I don't think you repeated any of them, though I'd look twice at anything that has the structure of "X? Gay as a y!"

Jason Rohrblogger said...

Cowboy Dave Dickerson,

Thanks for the heads-up. I got the premise because someone found my website one day be using the search Boolean "Top Ten Surprises in the Mr. Peanut Autobiography." The searcher was obviously looking for the Letterman list but I show up whenever "top ten" is listed because the phrase appears so many times on my site. Anyhoo, I thought it was a great premise so I decided to write a list for it. I did however steal the "X? Gay as a y" structure wholesale from Letterman along with the entire premise of this blog. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.