TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE HIRED THE WRONG DENTIST

Top Ten Signs You've Hired the Wrong Dentist

10. Diagnoses three rectal cavities, prescribes butt floss

9. For an extra fifty she'll let you take home an "eight-ball of anesthesia"

8. Sets drill on stun

7. He's wearing a mask, gloves, leather corset, and whip

6. Installs a bridge to nowhere

5. Charges you $1.99-a-minute to look at your x-rays

4. Accepts cash, charge, insurance, chickens, moonshine, and small hounds

3. Before adjusting the chair, asks "would you like a happy ending?"

2. Spit cup smells like chewing tobacco

And the number one sign you've hired the wrong dentist...

1. Reaches through your mouth and extracts your wallet

-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/26/08)

And the alternates...

Fills cavities with unicorns and rainbows
In lieu of Novocaine, states "count backwards from ten and go to your special place"
Leaves a dollar under your pillow for each tooth removed
She gives a smile when the pain comes, the pain's gonna make everything alright, alright yeah