TOP TEN REJECTED EXCUSES FOR SPEEDING

Top Ten Rejected Excuses for Speeding

10. Had to get home to make sweet love to your mother, officer

9. I'm dislexic and thought the speed limit was 53

8. What school zone, retirement home, and bike lane?

7. Wanted to kill a moose with my car for Sarah Palin

6. Was rushing home to watch COPS

5. Accidentally hit the missile launcher. (James Bond only)

4. Had to go 88 mph to activate the flux capacitor

3. Thought it was Paris Hilton in the crosswalk

2. Ran out of Total, ate twenty-four bowls of Shredded Wheat

And the number one rejected excuse for speeding...

1. Someone just poured hot grits down my pants

-Jason Rohrblogger
(12/2/08)

And the alternate...

Didn't think a bicycle would go 100 mph. (Lance Armstrong only)