TOP TEN ENHANCED SECURITY MEASURES AT THE WHITE HOUSE

Top Ten Enhanced Security Measures at the White House

10. He got early warning
He got muddy water, he one mojo filter
He say "One and one and one is three"
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see

9. Kevlar underwear

8. Noisy cans tied to a string across the lawn

7. Sparky the rabid Chihuahua of Death off his leash

6. Domino's can only deliver during government business hours

5. Dick Cheney with a loaded shotgun in his rocking chair on the porch

4. Moat

3. Michael Vick's dogs run free on the grounds

2. Codenames encrypted in pig Latin

And the number one enhanced security measure at the White House...

1. Al Qaeda given mailing address of Belgian embassy down the street

-Jason Rohrblogger
(2/9/09)

And the alternates...

All assassins must check in with the receptionist in the foyer

No more key hidden in a fake rock near the back door

Gaydar