TOP TEN SIGNS I AM GETTING OLD

Top Ten Signs I am Getting Old

10. Dingbat girls slinging toxic wings at Hooters can't hold my interest

9. I get Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner-reference jokes

8. I'd rather have the drink than the lap dance

7. No longer have to test my car's top speed. In a school zone. In the rain.

6. Went from beer and whiskey to Metamucil and Advil

5. I know the difference between term life, whole life, universal, and variable insurance

4. Won't quit my job if it conflicts with AC/DC's touring schedule

3. I can remember when there were no microwaves, VCRs, cell phones, or internet

2. I know what my cholesterol and PSA levels are

And the number one sign I am getting old...

1. The Victoria's Secret calendar no longer precipitates a wrist injury

-Jason Rohrblogger
(2/28/09)