TOP TEN GIFTS I AM GETTING SARAH PALIN FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

Top Ten Gifts I am Getting Sarah Palin for Valentine's Day

10. A viable fetus

9. Heart-shaped 7mm Magnum rifle

8. Subscription to Time Magazine

7. Pearl necklace

6. Snow machine bailout package

5. Throw pillow embroidered "The Love Gov"

4. Katie Couric/Tina Fey dart board

3. An evening of polling the electorate

2. Season two of "Ice Road Truckers: Uncensored"

And the number one gift I am getting Sarah Palin for Valentine's Day...

1. A well-oiled pipeline

-Jason Rohrblogger
(2/12/09)

And the alternate...

A bare skin rug